One of the things that I read about (and even wrote about, in fact) before actually coming to Second Life was the Virtual Hallucinations Project from UC Davis (a continuation of work done at the University of Queensland, Australia), and I’ve long been wanting to visit the project.

Having done so, I have a lot to say about it! As my name indicates, I like to take people to distant, exotic places; but perhaps the most distant and exotic place there is … is within the human psyche. And that’s where we’re going today.

This entry is not going to contain many pictures — this is something that must be experienced as a whole, and you’re given the perfect opportunity to do so here. Seeker Gray will not be happy, but this extraordinary experience should not be tainted by too much advance preparation.

We have all, I am sure, passed someone on a city street who was suffering from hallucinations. This is the person mumbling nonstop to herself, perhaps looking about wildly, making eye contact without you having a sense that you’re really connecting. Chances are that you don’t want to connect — you probably want to move on, and fast. What on earth is going on inside that person’s head?

Want to find out?

Step this way …

Entering the virtual hallucination feels, at first, like you’re entering a clinic of some kind. It’s in fact modelled to look like a psychiatric unit, a place not unknown to many schizophrenics. You’re given a badge that allows you to hear the auditory hallucinations (choose based on your gender) and, almost immediately, the voices start.

This is not an exercice for the faint of heart. Sherpa (despite her occasional habit of lapsing into the third person when she is being self-referential) prides herself on being a balanced, mentally healthy human being; after five minutes in this place, she was starting to feel a little less balanced. Maybe even a lot less so.

And who wouldn’t? “You’re evil,” says one. “You’re the most evil person in the world.”

Another voice chimes in. “You’re just pathetic (…) you’re just going to ruin everything.”

“You have no secrets from me,” says a third. “Everyone knows what you’re thinking.”

And the fourth, the most insidious, whispering and murmuring things that can occasionally be distinguished, occasionally not, but sound — scary. Very scary.

These voices stay with you as you go through the building. They never stop. Never. And you’re staying here, what? Ten minutes? Try to imagine having them inside your skull all the time, 24 hours a day, and be unable to shut them off… It’s a seriously frightening thought, and an excellent first experience of the kind of hallucination to which our friend on the aforementioned street is responding.

You’re pathetic…

As you wander through various rooms, hallucinations are demonstrated — and explained. A poster’s words morph into a derogatory message, only those words becoming legible.

You’re the most evil person in the world…

I’m going to give you two snapshots so that you have a sense of one of the hallucinations. Here we are in a normal corridor:

And here we are when the floor has suddenly dropped and we are forced to step on stones to navigate it:

Imagine that happening to you on a regular — or even a random — basis. If you cannot trust the ground on which you walk to not suddenly morph into something potentially lethal, how can you navigate the world?

You have no secrets from me…

Want to stop and wash your hands? Glance at yourself in the mirror over the sink? One man did, and watched his face as it became gray and then started bleeding from the eyes. You get to watch that, too.

You’re dead, you’re dead, you’re dead…

Enter a large common room on the other side of the corridor and a spotlight suddenly lights up a table. You approach it, curious, and another voice, urgent and close and loud, immediately chimes in over the others: “Get the gun! Kill them all! Kill yourself! Shoot the coppers! Come on, get the gun! Get the gun!”

Happened, that did. The person in question got the gun from a police officer and shot him.

You’re just going to ruin everything…

At the exit, you’re allowed to stop the voices. Finally. Blessedly.

While this does not give one the full sense of what a person experiencing hallucinations is going through, it’s a very good introduction.

Who hears and sees and feels these things?

Schizophrenia is a mental illness characterized by disordered thinking that impairs social and work function. Most patients with schizophrenia experience auditory hallucinations, and many experience visual hallucinations as well. Educational materials about schizophrenia frequently emphasize the frightening or disturbing nature of hallucinations, but many patients feel that their experiences are not well understood. While patients can often describe their hallucinations in detail, listening to or reading such a description does not always convey the full extent of the experience. (from the project website)

Yes, medications can help; but there’s a plethora of reasons why many people do not stay on medication. This project isn’t about solving the problem of schizophrenia; it’s about helping people become more sensitive to it, to understand it — a little — from the inside out.

You’re dead, you’re dead, you’re dead…

Come visit. Take the tour of a tortured mind at the Virtual Hallucinations Project, and the next time you see one of these walking wounded on the street, perhaps you’ll be a little less afraid, a little more kind.